Three Ways to Fake Empathy

Posted by Deborah Chaddock Brown on November 20, 2008 under Connecting Moments, empathy | Be the First to Comment

Some people think only intellect counts: knowing how to solve problems, knowing how to get by, knowing how to identify an advantage and seize it. But the functions of intellect are insufficient without courage, love, friendship, compassion and empathy.

Dean Koontz

Intellectually, we understand the value of empathy; the effort of putting yourself in someone else’s shoes, to feel their pain.

But reality says “I just don’t have time.”  “I don’t know how.”

If today’s consumer is looking to do business with a company that wants to build a relationship then our associates need to understand the value of empathy in undercovering customer needs.

But what if you don’t know how?

I’ve developed three easy ways to FAKE it.  You’ve heard the saying “fake it ’til you make it.”  Wake up on the wrong side of the bed in the morning, but if you put on a fake smile – pretty soon the responses will turn the fake smile into the real thing.  Same with empathy.  Here’s the three tips:

• Learn to put yourself in the other person’s shoes by acknowledging the fact that they in fact have DIFFERENT shoes. 
• Listen with a desire to truly hear rather than quietly allowing the customer to talk while you formulate your response in your head.
• Understand that their view of the situation might be entirely different than yours and since they are the ones making the purchase – whose view do you think is more important? 

 That’s it.  So simple.  The most important thing to remember is that the customer is coming at your conversation with other things on their mind that have nothing to do with you or your products.  They have walked a different life than you and so their perceptions may be different. 

You don’t have to understand what they are feeling, you just have to respect the fact that they may view the interaction differently from you. 

What they feel has value and should be treated as such.

So how do you show empathy with your customers?