Are the First Words You Utter a Total Turnoff?
Posted by Deborah Chaddock Brown on October 3, 2008 under Customer Moments, First Impressions, Interviewing Moments | 
8 Comments to Read
“This is probably a stupid idea but…”
“I don’t mean to interrupt, but…”
“This may sound silly but…”
Have you ever been in a meeting and opened your comment with one of those phrases? Steve Roesler of All Things Workplace talked about how we reduce our influence with just a few words.
Steve says “I’ve worked with literally hundreds of managers on their meetings and presentations over the years. Nothing makes me wince more than seeing someone who is confident in his material stand up and use words that undercut the power of the message.”
I’m embarrassed to say that I can remember using some of those same phrases when I was in the corporate world, especially when I was first promoted to Director of Operations. I sat in a room of mostly men, all with VP after their name and although I had an opinion, I hesitated to contribute without opening with an apology.
Sadly, by leading with one of those self-deprecating phrases, I was allowing others in the room to discount my contribution even before I spoke.
The same can be said when presenting to a customer. First impressions only happen once.
Have you used apologetic openings as a way of winning over the customer? “This will just take a second…” Steve says
“Whether you are standing up or seated at a conference table, people want you to lead with confidence. Not arrogance, but confidence. When you do something to apologize for your presence you diminish your presence.”
Our opening statement is our own “make or break moment” whether it is with a customer, in a meeting or with a new acquaintance.
How can you make the most of the opportunity?
- Take a deep breath, slowly exhale before speaking
- Remember that you offer value – don’t apologize for being
- Think through your opening comment BEFORE you open your mouth
- Offer your opinion or opening statement with confidence and a smile
What tips have you used to make the most of a first impression moment?
p.s. Thanks to Norma Rist who led me to Ann Handley who left a tweet leading me to Steve’s post. Whew. Talk about your roundabout journey.
Photo courtesy of Shaw University
Lea Schizas said,
Thoroughly enhoyed your post. It’s so true because I remember in the beginning of my writing career beginning with a negative tone almost in an apologetic tone. I’m assuming many of us did this only because we ‘felt’ as though we were not really ‘qualified’ writers so early in our careers. However, when we know the statement we are about to discuss, we should do it with a positive tone, two feet planted firmly on the ground, and move forward.
Once again, thanks for the posting.
Lea Schizas
Deborah Chaddock Brown said,
Lea – exactly – two firmly planted. We forget to give ourselves credit for what we know and what we’ve experienced. Thanks so much for the visit and the comment!
Deborah
Ann Handley said,
This may sound silly but thanks for the shout-out!
; )
Seriously, great to connect on Twitter. And glad you liked the piece.
(I hope it was ok that I left a comment…!) (lol)
Deborah Chaddock Brown said,
Hey Ann – I’m glad you visited and commented. Blogging is a two way conversation – that’s what makes it so fun! D
Steve Roesler said,
Deborah,
I really like the “Make Or Break Moments” theme; it’s one of those, “Geez, why didn’t I think of that?”
Lets’ face it…we all lapse into these phrases that tend to undercut our effectiveness. The trick is to bump up our awareness so that we can have more “Make” than “Break” moments.
Keep writing. . .
Deborah Chaddock Brown said,
Steve, thanks for the comment. Hey – YOU got the conversation going! I love my make or break moments theme because I believe passionately in putting yourself in the other person’s shoes no matter what. However, I have to give my Mom credit for the title. She and my Dad were visiting and I had a whole list of possible phrases and was leaning towards Revolutionizing Reality but whenever I described what I was talking about (because you can’t tell what Revolutionizing Reality is) I would say “you know, that moment in time when the next words you say could make a friend for life or piss them off entirely? It’s like a make or break moment.” And my Mom said “now THAT I understand!”
What would we do without our folks?
Thanks for visiting and taking the time to comment. D
Steve Roesler said,
Deborah,
Your mom is a terrific example of why it’s so important to try out our brilliant ideas on “normal” people. I usually look for a 9 year-old. They always cut through the brilliance and get right to the point.
Deborah Chaddock Brown said,
Steve, You are so right. I usually use my 17 year old son. I recently put together a six piece teaser mailing and everyone loved it in my mentor group. My son RIPPED IT TO shreds. And you know what? He was right on! Oh well. D
Add A Comment