I had to chuckle as I read them because I have heard them or – GASP – said them at one time or another. As employees we don’t always listen to ourselves and how our statements may come across to the customer.
Bill’s Top Ten List includes:
I’m surprised your haven’t heard about our product.
That’s not my job.
Sorry, it’s closing time.
To schedule delivery, let me see when I’m going to be in your neighborhood.
You’re the first person who has complained about our service.
Tell me your name again, and what the problem is?
If you buy this item, you’ll help me meet my sales quota for the month.
Walk through that door over there, turn left, take the escalator and you’ll be on the floor where we accept returned merchandise.
Gosh, I barley got here- had to drop my dog at the vet, traffic was terrible, and I’ve got this awful headache.
That’s against our policy.
Bill goes on to share why each statement is wrong and how you might reword the statement to be more acceptable from a customer’s perspective.
PERSPECTIVE. What a great word. As employees we may just be trying to be honest or folksy or friendly and honest, but in fact, our casual honest approach could be a turn off.
Yes – it is closing time and yes, I am sure you want to go home. You’ve been on your feet for 8 hours, you missed supper because the store was busy and you haven’t gone to the bathroom in four hours and the last cup of coffee is kicking in.
But who pays our paycheck?
I would add a couple to Bill’s list:
11. You look wonderful in that outfit, pair of glasses, 6″ heels.
Rather than offer an empty compliment in hopes of a sale, be tactful but honest. If it doesn’t look good and the customer buys it – someone in their life will say “Who ever made you think that was a good purchase?”
Instead say: that’s a lovely dress and the cut is very trendy, however, we also have this in your size that I have a feeling will bring out the color in your eyes. Steer them in a more appropriate direction. Afterall, you are the expert and customers look to you for advice.
12. If you are thinking about shopping around, don’t go to “XYZ” company. They have really high prices, or poor quality.
When we knock our competitors we make our ownselves look bad. If the customer asks about the competition be honest but fair: Yes XYZ has that same outfit, however, the last time I checked, we did offer it for a lower price.
What do you think when you hear the word “empathy?”
Webster’s defines it as “the capacity for participation in another’s feelings or ideas.”
The Synonym Finder by J.I. Rodales lists similar words to “empathize” as:
respond
react
understand
be in tune
be hip to
be into
be turned on to
imagine
project
vicariously
put oneself into another’s place or shoes
Sounds like “girl” stuff, doesn’t it? It’s all that touchie-feelie stuff that we are too busy to bother with. We have things to do, people to see, money to make.
Yet, I would argue that we can show empathy in a non-gushy manner that will make all the difference to our customer or our employee or our spouse. In fact, we can show empathy in a single sentence.
Joe Rawlinson of Return Customers wrote a blog post recently entitled Show Empathy to Customers in which he tells of a shopping experience at Costco:
On a recent trip to Costco, there was a big thunderstorm brewing nearby. I knew that by the time I got out of the store, it could very well be a torrential downpour typical of a summer thunderstorm in Texas.
I didn’t want to get wet and I surely didn’t want my purchases to get soaked either.
I rushed through the store and picked up the items on my list. As I waited to exit, the guy that checks receipts said, “We’ll get you on your way before the rain hits.”
That little interaction literally calmed me down.
One sentence: “We’ll get you on your way before the rain hits.”
The cashier showed empathy by simply being aware of their surroundings and how the customer might be feeling by putting themselves in their shoes for a moment.
Sometimes we have to lift our head from the details of our daily life – take a quick look around – and put ourselves in the shoes of others. Just that one simple act can make the difference between a non-event and a Make or Break Moment that has led to the development of customer loyalty for Joe and Costco.
I’m so excited to be part of this incredible book. This past spring I learned that Drew McLellan was putting together a sequel to the first successful volume Age of Conversation – this one with a subtitle “Why Don’t They Get It?”
I quickly responded that I wanted to participate and throughout the summer emails have traveled between the groups – with Drew the concert master behind this great endeavor.
Guess what? The book is now available.
From a press release written for each author – here is the back story which brought this book to life:
The book has an unusual story behind it, involving online connections between people around the world who have never met each other.
Drew McLellan, who heads an advertising agency in Des Moines, writes a blog online. Drew’s Marketing Minute is among the 25 most-read marketing blogs, and a regular reader is Gavin Heaton, who works for global software giant SAP in Sydney, Australia. Heaton writes a blog called Servant of Chaos
Nearly two years ago through a chance online conversation, McLellan and Heaton decided to invite fellow bloggers to participate in writing a book about conversation and how it impacts us in marketing, in business and in life in general.“Blogging, after all, is about conversation,” McLellan said.
More than 100 bloggers from the U.S. and eight countries responded by contributing essays on conversation. The book, published in the summer of 2007, earned $15,000, all of which was donated to the international children’s charity Variety.
“Gavin and I were overwhelmed with the response,” said McLellan“Almost as soon as the first book was published, we heard from bloggers asking when the next book would be published so they could contribute essays.”
I contributed an essay titled Put Your Advertising Strategy in the Hands of Your Customer, which offers the suggestion that you partner with your best customers when creating or revising your marketing message or even your strategy. If the idea is to “get more customers” just like your best existing customers, then why not ask them for advice.
Blogging is a wonderful way for professionals to share ideas, learn from each other and connect with like-minded spirits around the globe. Collaborating on a book about conversation is a perfect way to share among ourselves and among others who don’t read blogs. And we have the added incentive of helping a charity that does important work around the world. I am thrilled to be a part of this project.
The Age of Conversation 2is available as a downloadable e-book beginning TODAY, at a cost of $12.50, of which $10 will be contributed to Variety. Beginning on the same date, orders will be taken for a limited number of printed books in hardcover ($29.95, with $6.04 to charity) and soft cover ($19.95, with $8.02 donated to charity).
The Art of Conversation 2 is a unique collaboration via the internet, involving 237 marketing professionals who blog from 29 states throughout the U.S. and from 14 other nations from Australia to the Ukraine.Here is a listing of all the great contributing authors:
I called for information about my son’s college fund yesterday. In light of the current economic climate and the fact that my son leaves for college in less than eleven months – I had a few questions.
I can’t imagine being in the financial world right now. As people work to stamp down their panic at the paper losses on their kids funds and their own retirement money, it takes a savvy customer service professional to keep the conversation positive.
I met such a representative yesterday: Christina from the Education Fund.
She told me:
the fund had lost 25% more than I thought it had
I couldn’t move the funds now unless I used them this year
I couldn’t put the money in less aggressive venues without realizing a real loss
Not a lot to cheer about in the conversation. So what made it so good?
Her tone of voice – I believe she was smiling as she was talking – not in a patronizing way but in a friendly manner – her voice sparkled
She started with her name – and she used mine – she immediately took the conversation from an impersonal fact finding moment to the beginnings of two friends chatting
As we talked I was quoting a dollar figure from my monthly statement and she was honest:
“Deborah, I hate to be the one to bring bad news to this conversation but I need to be honest with you. The number you are quoting is no longer the number on the account due to recent market changes.”
She could have let me continue thinking mis-information, but she chose to be honest and help me with decisions with the correct information.
When I asked a question she responded with “that’s a really good question” which validated me as a person – she didn’t make me feel stupid, even though the subject isn’t my forte.
She gave me options – I didn’t feel backed up against the wall because she provided a number of different solutions
She invited me to call again and gave me her direct extension – an opportunity to continue the relationship instead of being treated like just one more voice in the phone que.
Did the call take any longer? No.
Did she tell me what I wanted to hear? No.
Did the negative information that she had to share send me into a panic? No. Her confident, friendly voice and honest approach were reassuring.
How did I feel afterward? I felt like a valued customer.
When we talk with customers over the phone we have two choices:
1. Treat them like just one more thing we have to finish before we can go home, or
2. Share a conversation, listen to their concerns, needs and questions, be open, honest and friendly and build a relationship.
I was attending a meeting today when the facilitator received a text message. The meeting format is a casual breakfast round table and so it was appropriate for her to quickly view the message while the rest of us continued our discussion.
I noticed that she did a little thumb dance over the keys and set the phone down. A few minutes later, she glanced at the phone, clicked-clicked a few letters and again set the phone down.
The conversation was fast and productive so it wasn’t until she said “I’m having a make or break moment” that we all glanced in her direction to learn more.
“I just got a critical text from a client about a major change in his organization. He’s looking for feedback and it has to be perfect.”
160 characters of perfect.
Pressure.
“You have to be careful,” she said. “People who send a text are looking for an immediate response and the easy thing to do would be respond without thinking. But the wrong message could do immeasurable damage.”
I wonder. How often do we take the time to think through our text messages before sending. How often do we hit SEND and immediately cry out “NOOOOOOOO!”
I admired her restraint. She knew the person was waiting, perhaps impatiently for a response, and yet she took the time to think, write, review, WAIT a few minutes, review, revise and WAIT.
The person at the other end of the phone ended up waiting less than 10 minutes for a response, however, because she was thoughtful and careful and reflection – when she hit the SEND button – she was satisfied with the message, the tone and the words.
Once again – a person at the cross roads faced with options. She chose to use the opportunity – even in just a short little text message – to ensure she was professional and had thought through her response.
So how often do you text immediate responses without thinking through your message? In light of new legislature in seven states: Do you text while you drive?
A recent study said 70% of minors are texting while driving! Talk about being at a cross roads and facing Make or Break Moments that could have catostrophic results! Check out this video:
I love to have a massage. There is something so wonderful about being pampered and so I treat myself a couple times a year to a relaxation massage.
About 18 months ago I was giving my Earning Customer Loyalty speech – talking about the little things you can do to set yourself apart from the competition and Jack Hayes came up afterwards to tell me about the little things he does.
“I own Connecting Touch - we offer a variety of services and we give each customer a flower after they have paid for their visit.”
That’s nice, I thought. It didn’t really resonate with me at the time; however, the next time I decided to treat myself with a massage, I gave Jack’s office a call.
I must admit to being a fly-by-night massage customer. I try a different salon each time. You would not call me a loyal massage customer.
Jack had given me a certificate for a free 30 minutes massage and when I called the office I upgraded the visit to a full hour.
Cindy was my massage therapist and she met me at the door, took my coat and draped a fragrant, heated pad around my shoulders, offered me a glass of ice water and asked me to take a seat for a moment.
“We’ll go in when ever you are ready,” she said. No rush. No strict time table to adhere to. I immediately felt the stress begin to leave my body, a little at a time.
“I’m ready,” I said, eager to begin.
She took me into a dimly lit room and pointed out the fact that there was a little chocolate on my pillow. “If you don’t want it now, set it aside before you lie down,” she suggested. No sense in having melted chocolate in my hair.
I opted to save the chocolate and after preparing for the massage, climbed on the table. Cindy asked if there were any areas of concern and then began her work.
Rather than just conduct a standard, by rote, massage, she focused her attention on my neck and shoulders and one hip that had been giving me trouble. When I stood – I felt immensely better as well as relaxed.
As I paid for the services, she handed me a red carnation. The flower Jack had told me about. Armed with my flower and chocolate I left feeling very pampered – more than just the massage.
It was all of the little touches along the way. The massage didn’t take any longer than at any other salon and the cost was the same if not more reasonable, but the total experience far exceeded my expectations.
My daughter is a fashion diva and shopping aficionado and for her to offer something that is free as the most valuable accessory says a whole lot.
Remember – a smile provides a connection which leads to a relationship.
A smile takes less muscles than a frown.
A smile makes you look younger.
A smile brightens up the room.
A smile says “Hey – I’m glad to see you!”
Not sure how? Check out the Wiki instructions for how to smile.
Need a visual?
Translation isn’t really necessary – but here it is:
Gertruda Kunde” teaches you, how to smile… It has 4 parts: 1)a fleeting smile, 2)a normal smile, 3)teeth smile, 4)absolute crazy smile.
So give it a shot – SMILE. You just might be on Candid Camera, but more importantly – you might make a connection; with a friend, a peer, a prospect or even a stranger!
A couple of years ago, Norma Rist and I gave a presentation for the Women’s Network entitled Presenting Yourself for Success. Norma exhibited the “right” way and I…well, I didn’t. It was all in fun, but it was to represent a point – people make judgments about your ability to provide value long before you start talking.
When men attend a meeting they enter the room – shake a few hands, have a little easy banter conversation, come almost empty handed, sit in a prominent location and with very little fuss – are ready to participate (or dominate, as the personality dictates).
Women come with a briefcase, purse, drink, laptop, notepads, pencils, documents they’ve reviewed and set up camp.
Men come in, sit and are ready with almost no movements.
Women enter, fuss, fidget, set up house and after 7-10 movements are finally ready.
No one has spoken, and yet the men appear more confident and prepared because of the lack of fuss.
The woman is prepared for anything and yet because of all her gyrations – appears inadequate.
Now that may be a gross exaggeration, but the point remains – we send messages about our professionalism with our body language, our dress and our demeanor long before we open our mouth.
And then when we do speak -
How many of you women reading this have started to offer a comment by saying “This may sound silly…” or “I don’t know if this makes sense, but…” or “I hate to interrupt, but…”
So here are a few things to think about for creating a professional first impression when you attend a meeting based on the handout from the presentation that Norma and I prepared:
STEPPING UP IN BUSINESS
Etiquette in Corporate Meetings
Behavior
?How do you enter a room?
?Dress a little more professional than the dress code for the meeting
?Arrive early/Leave late
?Greeting/Shaking hands
?Voice – confidence
?Body Language – take up space
Communications
?Leave the disclaimers at home
?Learn the language – acronyms, sport analogies, business terms, industry jargon
?Forget the empty adjectives (i.e. terrible, marvelous, always, never)
?Be an active listener – look at who is speaking, all the time, every time
?Save your comments – wait until 80% of the conversation has taken place before offering one insightful comment
Safe Conversations
?Vacations you’ve taken or plan to take
?Sports – unless you root for the Steelers and you are at a Brown’s event
?Boats – trains – plans – automobiles
?Ask questions
Prepare in Advance
?Read all of the material sent in advance, then leave it at home
?If you don’t understand the material – get help before entering the meeting
?Watch other’s behavior for the example to follow
?Take care where you sit
What tips have you used to create a confident first impression? Take a moment to observe how people enter a room and participate in the next meeting you attend. Are you making judgments based on their non-verbal behavior?
I have two lovely children, Emily is 12 and Ben is 17 and a senior. They are my reason for breathing. They are my greatest joy. They are my Excedrin Headache number 16, 43 and 91. I love them dearly.
In other words, I am your typical parent.
Well, perhaps not typical. When Ben was 10 I started writing a tweenager book entitled “Ben and the Smother Mother.” Guess what my inspiration was?
Everyday, from the moment our kids are born, we are faced with a variety of critical and trivial make or break moments. I’ve learned that the way to stay sane is to pick those moments. Sadly, I don’t always pick wisely. However, tonight, I done good.
My son is taking a really cool class called Contemporary Issues in which a social studies teacher and a language arts teacher provide instruction on one topic from two vantage points. For the first 9 weeks they have been studying ethnicity and immigration culminating with a community-wide presentation.
For the class they had to interview family members about their historical migration and then they had to write a paper about some aspect of their own personal history. Then, as a group, they were to study the history of immigration and put together a multi-media presentation. Tonight they presented to about 100 family and friends.
As I prepared for the evening, I grabbed my camera. It was habit. My child is doing something special therefore it must be documented. Right?
However, once in the venue I quickly gathered that pulling out the camera would be a B…A…D. move. It stayed safely in my purse.
At the end of all of the presentations, which were not only impressive but also very informative, the two teachers gave out awards:
Best team project
Best written paper
Now my son has a love of writing -gee, wonder where that came from – in fact he wrote his first novel when he was 13, and he usually shares what he’s written, but I had not been allowed to read this particular piece.
And the award goes to…
MY SON!
He was shocked – I was thrilled and the audience applauded wildly. (In my mind it was a standing “o” but in reality it was a polite clapping). My hands itched to reach in my purse as he proudly walked to the center of the stage to receive his recognition.
“Must get to camera” my brain screamed. “Must have photo memory of this historic moment,” I reasoned. “Someday he’ll want to show his grandchildren,” I told myself.
But instead, I resisted.
A make or break disaster – averted. No grand mother embarrassment. Just a proud, beaming mom with tears in her eyes clapping for her award winning son.
Do you think he’ll realize the disaster avoided and appreciate my restraint?
No. However, I do know that if I’d taken out the camera – the embarrassment would have potentially over shadowed his pleased surprise at being recognized for his work.
Liz Strauss has offered up a challenge to express your idea of connections in exactly 25 words. She is compiling all that submit their ideas. Here is her idea from the original post:
When I know
life is a story,
I’ll carry no pain.
I’ll meet you
wide open
like sunset
gives its heart
over to the night.
Here is my attempt:
Moment in time,
Make or Break moment-
When approached with listening ears,
Empathetic heart and desire to relate,
Connects us long after the moment passes.
UPDATE: OCTOBER 20, 2008
Here is the finished presentation of all who participated in the project. I’m on page 26!
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